Hi. I’m Kai. I’m a 21 year old proud pet parent, trans man, interior design student, and long time sufferer of panic disorder (in that order). Like many other people I repress my many issues (no spoilers, you’ll hear about them all eventually) by keeping myself ungodly busy so I have no time for anything besides school, dog, and sleep (lol sort of, barely). And herein lies the problem: ITS SUMMER; and I now find myself face to face with my worst enemy: free time. I can no longer put off dealing with my problems by prioritizing my massive amount of schoolwork which means I’ve been encountering some old friends I know quite well: dysphoria, self-hatred, general anxiety about dumb shit, etc. And I thought “Wow! I feel like shit! I’m really gonna have to deal with this huh?” So here I am. Do I know what I’m doing: no. Do I know what I want out of it: also no. Am I going to keep writing blindly and hope for results: ding, ding! Of course I am! So here we are. Self reflection has always been a skill of mine; hopefully I can write my way through some of these issues. And, if you feel like reading along, maybe you can see some of yourself in me and it’ll help you too. Only one way to find out.